Petting My Pet That Grew

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Via Pol:Spy:

“Canada is going to get tough with Iran? What a joke. Canada can’t get tough with anybody.”

They know that there’s not one significant thing, beyond recalling our ambassador, that Canada can do to Iran.

Thanks to endless years of Liberal government, we have almost no army or air force left, and the B.C. Ferry Service has more ships than our navy.

Pettigrew talks vaguely of imposing “sanctions,” but what sanctions? What does Iran buy from Canada that it couldn’t buy in a dozen other places?

Iran knows this, and so, surely, does Pettigrew.

So why all this issuing of demands and threats with nothing at all to back them up?

Because, of course, Pettigrew isn’t talking to Iran. He’s talking to Canadians.”

~ Ted Byfield on Canada’s bark lacks international bite

I have no idea what the name “Pettigrew” sounds like in Arabic. But if it’s anything like English, Petty Grew, the Iranians are laughing their heads off at us.

Now if only Petty Grew could call upon a Petty Crew that was capable of making them Iranians stop laughing, I’d stop laughing at Petty Grew.

I guess we might have some half decent helicoptors in about five or ten years. Operated by a petty crew. Then, Iran will sit up and take notice at Canada. By gosh, Canada will be able to do something!

Until then, we’ve got Pierre. Pettigrew. Scary huh?

I had a pet that grew too. She liked her neck rubbed. Iran seems to know that the Canadian Pet A Grew just likes his neck rubbed too.

It’s all Canada can do.
We’ve got Pierre Pettigrew
The man that can spew
In English that we demand what’s true
From middle eastern lands
the truth that’s in the sands

The truth is what we do
If we don’t get it, we’ll be blue
You tell us a lie,
We’ll be more than oblige’
To simply sit and stew. Pettigrew.

But when we stew and boast
It’ll be an Iranian sheep we roast
For we can’t defend
Our citizen’s rights we lend
It’s something we pretend
But of course not what we really defend.

My name is Pettigrew
Forgive me for not having a clue
I thought you’d here me out
And know I’m serious when I pout
Would be enough human rights to not flout.

I’m from Canada you know
Our navy ships I admit do blow
Our forces are the very small
But Pettigrew stands so tall
Against the leaves in Autumn as the fall
And I protest, becuase I’ve got one ball.

You becareful, men of Iran
Our rights we do deman’
We have an army of three or two
One of which has maybe a clue
And of course my name is Petty Grew.

And if that’s not threat enough
I’m tellin ya, we won’t take your guff
I’ll boast and bluster, my name is Pierre
And for the next year, you’ll have my stare
And the UN of course, will make sure it’s fair
Canada will always pretend to dare.

Ok.. it ain’t the best poetry in the world.. but what do you expect at 4AM?

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