Sexuality, Health Canada Style

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I was browsing Health Canada’s website – my tax dollars at work, and was thinking of sending this letter to the local MP:

Dear Mr. Calder,

On December 21, 1967, then Justice Minister Pierre Trudeau went on television and said, “there’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.”

That was one of Trudeau’s most enlightened statements. Interestingly, it would seem that today’s LIberal Government doesn’t share the same sentiment.

I was just visiting Health Canada’s website, and thought perhaps I could get some of my tax money back in education from the information that Health Canada gives out.

Mr. Calder, have you visited your Government’s ‘Sexuality’ webpages at Health Canada? You should! It’s very interesting.

Here’s what I learned:

“Healthy sexuality is a positive, dynamic and enriching part of being human. Health Canada has developed products to help in the education of healthy

Yes, right there at the very top of the page. I wondered what these so-called “products” were that Health Canada has developed. I’m still not sure, but I did see a couple of links underneath this, including one to some guide on teaching Sexuality, and another on figuring out your Sexual Identity.

And here I was hoping for some new tips on some positions I haven’t discovered yet, to increase the positive dynamism in my sex life.

Ah well. I read on. Guess what Mr. Calder? Health Canada seems to think that if you don’t know your sexual identity, or if you are unable to tell people your sexual identity, you’re at higher risk for HIV! Amazing. And here I thought all along it was from not using condoms and stuff.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a quote from the website:

“Being unsure about your sexual identity or being unable to disclose it to
people around you increases your risk of becoming infected with HIV.”

So, I’m going to chant, “I know my sexual identity” over and over. You want to do that with me? Let’s have a “Reduce The HIV Risk Day” here in Orangeville where you and I can make personal acclamations about knowing our sexual identity. According to Health Canada, that should help us reduce our risk for HIV. Incredible, isn’t it? Just think. If Health Canada is right, then you and I could start a revolution in Orangeville! An HIV free zone. Just by encouraging folks to know themselves or disclose what they
are, to others.

Ah, the wonderful expanding Government we have, that continues to pillage Canadians. Take a look yourself, at what my tax dollars go toward:

Mr. Calder, do you think this is good bang for the buck? I kind of think some in the Government should go and re-listen to that old CBC clip with Pierre

But honest, if you’re willing to stand with me in downtown Orangeville, shouting out that we know what we are, all in the name of reducing HIV risk, I’ll be there. I’ll even buy you a coffee and a pack of condoms. Just let me know when you’ll be in town.

Ian Scott

2 thoughts on “Sexuality, Health Canada Style”

  1. After reading this piece, I went immediately to the Health Canada website to see if they could help me determine my sexual identity. After all, I too would like to reduce my risk of contracting HIV…. but once there (, I discovered that since I’m not gay, transgendered, lesbian or bisexual, I can’t be helped. The government doesn’t think I have a sexual identity? Maybe I don’t. Here I thought I was a normal ol’ heterosexual, but if that category doesn’t count, now I’m not so sure! Gee thanks, Canada. Now I’m even more likely to contract HIV from sexual identity confusion! How exactly does that work, anyway? Should I wear gloves when searching for my sexual identity? Oh, help me Ottawa!

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