Why I Won’t Use Canada Post (Attention Deepak Chopra)

Sometimes, one’s patience becomes worn out, and today, my patience with Canada Post has run out to the point I absolutely will not use them for packages or shipments where time is important.
I doubt Deepak Chopra will read my blog post, but if you do happen to come across it, I note that on the Canada Post website it says,

Mr. Chopra is responsible for running Canada Post Corporation. This
$7-billion group is the single largest enabler of remote trade and commerce in the country through its postal network and subsidiaries Purolator, SCI Group and Innovapost.

~Source

 

Well Mr Chopra, I hope you take some responsibility because very few other people at Canada Post seem to want to. Indeed your office has been extremely slow in responding to correspondence from me that was forwarded to you by my MP, David Tilson (Dufferin – Caledon), correspondence I sent back in December, 2013.

Let’s start with the litany of idiotic and crappy service beginning with today’s frustrating experience:

1. I ordered some garden supplies consisting of several packages of vegetable seeds and some other small items from Richter’s located in Goodwood, ON. A couple of days later, April 14th, 2014 to be exact, that my order had been shipped via “Expedited Parcel” with the tracking number of: ‘TG114243495CA‘.

I had hoped it would have arrived before today, April 22nd, 2014 but I did realize that Good Friday and Easter Monday are Holidays for Canada Post employees. However, the package was received by Canada Post on the 14th of April in Newmarket. Orangeville is a 45 minute drive from Newmarket. Yes, I realize there are other considerations; Canada Post may not have a major sorting centre in Newmarket, but even still – getting it to Mississauga should not be that difficult, and then directly north to Orangeville, right?

Here’s a screen shot of the Tracking as of today’s date at 7:20PM:

canada post tracking from newmarket

 

Well Mr. Chopra, your Canada Post employee lied. The package was NOT successfully delivered. Furthermore, there was zero attempt to deliver it to my address at 12:27 PM. I had checked the tracking earlier in the morning and noted that it was apparently “out for delivery” and I made sure my door was open, and I had my son sit in our living room in such a way that he could watch the door. During my morning, I watched as a UPS truck made a delivery next door, then a Purolator truck, and later in the afternoon, another major courier firm went down my street and made a delivery. But no Canada Post trucks.

In addition, I was in my office, watching frequently from my window which has a view of the street and walkway up to my door.  In the late morning, a letter carrier walking her normal route did put some advertising flyers through my mail slot. She did not knock on my door; left no card advising of the availability of picking up the package, and so I assumed a Canada Post delivery truck would be at my door with the package.

At approximately 12:45PM, I happened to recheck the tracking status and that is when I noticed it had been updated to “successfully delivered.”  But it had not been.

I immediately called Canada Post’s customer service 1-800 number to find out what could be going on. The lady that I spoke with stated that it was common practice for carriers to pre-scan packages before going out on their delivery route, knowing that at some point during the day the package would be delivered. She indicated this practice would cause a tracked item to appear to have been delivered successfully when it had not yet been.

As far as I’m concerned, this is B.S. And indeed, a friend of mine who is a “Route Measurement Officer” for Canada Post also advised me that this is “B.S.” What other business could ever claim a job was completed when it’s not been completed? If this is a standard practice, it’s a very dishonest practice, and while your corporation’s tracking system claims a package has been delivered, it most certainly has not. Perhaps it makes for better stats or something, but it is simply false and is a lie.

No one can tell me where the package is. No one can take responsibility to let me know what has become of my package. Did the postal carrier steal it? Has it been mis-delivered?

So that is today’s frustration with your Corporation which has become as far as I’m concerned, an utterly useless and undependable organization. Let’s carry on:

2. Express Post To Brockville – What Happened?

On April 8th, 2014, I arrived at the Orangeville Post Office on Broadway with an envelope I wanted to send to Brockville by Express Post. I was advised that the envelope, which contained birthday cards and small gifts for my son, would arrive by 11th of April, 3 days later.
I was quite pleased to see during the day on the 11th, when I tracked the package, that it had apparently arrived. But later, when I had communication with my son, he advised me that it had not arrived.

I logged back onto the Canada Post website only to discover that in the evening, the Express Post envelope was being returned!  Check it out:

canada post tracking to brockvilleThe address written on the envelope is legible and easy to read. It is the correct address, and is the residence of my son. And yet, the item was returned to me with the word “Moved” on it. My son has not moved. The only explanation we can come up with is that Canada Post did not deliver the item or the notification card to the correct address.  It is just sheer incompetence and a lack of ensuring a job gets done correctly.

Yes, I have requested a refund and am to receive it, but it’s not just the money, but the disappointment as well as the time that I had to spend (walking 20 minutes each way to pick it up at a retail outlet when it was returned), because of incompetency of Canada Post.

The Day I Canada Post Refused To Sell Me Postage Stamps:

How utterly idiotic is that one would walk into a Canada Post Office (not a retail outlet, but an official Post Office) and be refused the ability to purchase stamps? This must be one of the most idiotic management decisions ever made and there ought to be an award for it with the words “STUPID” written across it.

On December 11th, 2013, I walked to the Canada Post Office on Broadway in Orangeville, and one of the bits of business I wanted to conduct was the purchase of official Canadian stamps so I could send out Christmas cards and other items in the mail to clients, family and friends. I was stunned at being told by the clerk behind the counter, “I’m sorry Ian, but we’ve been told to take the stamps off the shelves and have been threatened with our jobs if we sell them today.”

Huh??

What Canada Post Management team or person made the moronic decision to stop sales of postage stamps in December, at the height of Christmas Card season, just because some new denomination stamps were not ready in time and had not been delivered to postal outlets? I was told that I could purchase the stamps if I had Christmas cards that were addressed, at the post office counter, but that I could not buy a roll of stamps to take back to my office and stick them onto my envelopes when I was ready to do that.

Seriously Mr. Chopra, this must have been one of the most idiotic decisions your Corporation has ever made. Who is taking responsibility for that? Christmas time, and Canada Post needs to ration postage stamps?  But it wasn’t even as is there was a need to ration them; your management ordered clerks to not sell the ones they had. You know, there’s a word for people like that where I’m originally from in Ireland: Gobshites. I really can’t think of a better word to describe someone or some people that would cut off postage stamp sales at Christmas time.

I was told to return the next day when the new stamps were expected to be in. Guess what? I did return. No new stamps. Again I was refused the ability to purchase them.

Do you understand why this decision deserves the “Award Of Being Utterly Stupid?”

But there’s more, Mr. Chopra! After I had that experience, I emailed a letter to my MP and to Ms Lisa Raitt, Minister of Transportation who’s office overlooks Canada Post.  My MP forwarded my letter onto you in January. Your office did not bother to respond to me until close to the end of March!  It was a pretty lousy response which did not recognize the stupidity of Canada Post’s decision, nor acknowledge the major inconvenience it caused to your customers. I will say that although your office took it’s time in sending me a response, Ms Raitt was even worse, not replying until April 8th.
Next Day Delivery To Aliston That Took Almost A Week:

In December, around the same time as the above debacle over postage stamps (it may have been the same day), I was assured I could send a package “Next Day Delivery” from Orangeville to Aliston, Ontario. The contents of my shipment were very time sensitive and were to be a surprise for the recipient.

Guess what? It did not arrive the next day. I called Canada Post, they acknowledged the fact it had not arrived and promised to send me a refund cheque (which took about a month). I was advised though that when the package did arrive at it’s destination, it would not be delivered to the door, but instead to the recipient’s “community mailbox.” My original intent was to have it delivered to their door; that was what I was expecting.  But while discussing the complaint with Canada Post, I learned that even with expedited packages that are guaranteed “next day” delivery, that only means they will get a notification card in their “community mailbox” and a key is supposed to be left for a larger compartment where they can pick the package up.

But even that did not happen! The package too five business days (a full week) before the recipient received the notification card – with information that the package was available at a postal outlet at a Shopper’s Drug Mart. Your Corporation cannot even get delivery right, into a community mailbox.

By the time it had arrived, there was no point in it being picked up as the contents would have gone past an expiry date. In addition, the recipient does not have a vehicle to go across town.

The Wild West Where Packages Sit & Sit… & Sit.. & Wait For The Pony Express Return Trip

Approximately a year and a half ago, I sent another time sensitive package to Whitecourt, AB via Express Post (Three Day Service). I don’t recall the full details now at this point, but for whatever reason, it could not be picked up at the retail outlet where it was.

Although it was time sensitive, the contents were still valuable, and should have been returned to me. Do you know how long it sat out there? OVER 6 WEEKS before it was finally returned, and then Canada Post expected me to pay for Express Post shipping back to me!

Attempted Delivery Notice Lies

Canada Post is a lying Corporation. There have been numerous other times when I’ve been sent packages during your watch over Canada Post, Mr. Chopra, and have discovered an “Attempt to Deliver” notice in with my mail. There was no attempt to deliver whatsoever. How do I know? I work out of my home. I am here.  My little Boston Terrier barks when someone knocks on the door.  What seems to happen is that instead of an attempted delivery, the packages will get dropped off at the retail outlet and then the next day, a notice is sent asking me to go pick it up.

This is pathetic. It is also dishonest. It’s not what the shipper paid for. With that said, it’s actually fraudulent for Canada Post to claim an attempt at delivery when none was made.

The above are all issues that have occurred under the watch of Mr. Deepak Chopra. But Canada Post issues go even further back, and you may as well be aware of them:

Purolator Sucks

Some years ago, I ordered a vital and important piece of equipment for my business from the USA. Although I was not expecting it, the shipper thought he would do me a favour by sending it via USPS Expedited or Express (or whatever the term they use for “getting the mail somewhere fast”).  What we didn’t know is that once such mail crosses the border, Purolator deals with it. Of course, Purolator is owned by Canada Post and was at the time I write of, as well. For a variety of reasons, my official business address was a Canada Post Office Box number (one of the reasons was that Canada Post could never seem to figure out how to correctly deliver my mail to my office at that time and a P.O. Box just meant I got my mail more efficiently).

So what happens when Purolator takes over from the USPS, as contracted by Canada Post? Well, at that time, (perhaps they have improved now), if the address recipient was a PO Box, they’d just return the shipment to the shipper! No attempt to deliver, no attempt at making contact with the receiver.

This particular case, it was brought to the shipper’s attention that the shipment was being returned to him. After some research, is when I learned that Purolator had taken over the shipment. It had arrived in Ontario, and then was marked “Return To Sender” by them. When I discovered this, the shipment was actually in Vancouver, and yet Purolator REFUSED to allow me to provide them with a physical address!  So here’s Purolator admitting that they are not set up in any way to deal with shipments marked with a PO Address.. but guess what UPS does?

Ahh.. UPS has customer service in mind – they will send a postcard to the PO box asking the recipient to contact them to provide a physical address.  But even though Purolator was/is connected with Canada Post, they can’t do that… something is bizarre.

Canada Post Steals Other People’s Business:

I say “steal,” because indeed that is what it is. Canada Post Corporation is a monopoly that has also been protected from competition. It is illegal for me to start up my own mail business.

I started my business with sweat and tears, asked for no grants, government loans, or any other such thing, and between myself and my business partner, built a business that was providing internet related services including e-commerce enabled websites to businesses in Canada and the USA.  Canada Post was difficult to work with in regard to getting shipping cost plugins for Canadian online retailers. I had made many inquiries and was refused any type of assistance in helping my clients estimate shipping costs via Canada Post.

Subsequently, Canada Post, who holds a monopoly on mail, decides to compete with me in the web development business!  Sending out glossy postcards to businesses, with promises of wonderful e-commerce sites and Canada Post rates all built in for easy calculation of final charges to customers.

I lost clients to Canada Post because of this one feature, that Canada Post would not provide to others – being able to calculate shipping costs based on Canada Post rates.

Well.. a couple of those clients returned to my business after experiencing horrible service as far as their web development needs were concerned… but still, the nerve of Canada Post management to pull the stunt they did, and literally steal business away from other businesses and refuse to support small business, and compete against them, while having their own legal protections for the business of mail.

If you are reading this, and you are a Canada Post employee, I don’t want you to take this personally that I think you are an inefficient person. Or a bad person. However, you ought to know you work with some real boneheads, and that lack of service, their lack of honest, their lack of integrity, as well as the boneheaded decisions of some managers, have meant that I am now no longer going to use Canada Post for packages that I want or need to arrive quickly. I realize I will have perhaps have to pay more for the use of a reliable service such as UPS, but the unreliability and absolute insane decisions made by Canada Post have left me in a position of not having any other choice.

While there is much that can be done about some of the dumb decisions made by managers, you should realize that your own peers that are dishonest are part of this problem as well, and protecting them is stupid for your own long term job security. Whoever scanned my package that I was supposed to receive, and marked it as “Successfully Delivered,” lied today.  I don’t know if it was stolen, or delivered to the wrong address, but whatever happened, it’s caused me inconvenience, and I paid money to have that shipped to me via Canada Post.

Whoever didn’t properly deliver or ensure delivery of my “next day delivery” to Aliston back in December is responsible for part of my dissatisfaction with Canada Post.  Whoever allowed my package to sit on some floor or shelf in Alberta for six weeks did not do their job.  Whoever is putting “Attempted Delivery Notifications” through my mail slot without actually ensuring an attempted delivery is lying.

And while you may have your own gripes about your employer, your conduct in either acting in this way, or protecting a fellow employee acting in this way, is causing waste of time and money to others.

And finally to Mr. Deepak Chopra, I’ll repeat how I started: The Canada Post website says YOU are responsible. So take some damned responsibility. As far as I’m concerned, UPS, with their reliability have won me as a customer. I was your customer to lose, and today, you finally lost me to the point I’m going to recommend to others that they suck it up and move to UPS for their on time and reliable delivery needs.

It has simply been years worth of a litany of errors, stupid and idiotic decisions and service that no one in the private sector would ever survive in offering.  Today was the last straw.

Ironically, when I emailed the shipper of my package that Canada Post claims was successfully delivered, to let them know it was a lie; that it had not been delivered, this was the response I received:

I am going to forward a copy of your e-mail to our Canada Post Rep. too
We are also very frustrated with the services being provided – so much so that Conrad Richter has launched a web-site entitled “whats wrong with Canada Post” .

I did a quick Google search – here is Mr. Richter’s website: http://www.whatswrongwithcanadapost.ca/

(Addendum: I KNOW there are good people at Canada Post, and I would like to thank those of you who DO care and have taken an interest, especially to Stacey who has offered her sincere apologies for my experiences and has tried to assist. The 2 clerks who work at my local Post Office are great people as well – and I can see their own frustration when they roll their eyes as I recount experiences to them. This “rant” is not meant and should not be taken by all Canada Post employees as something against you. At the same time, there are occasions, I need dependable service and your employer is just not providing that, along with idiotic decisions as I reported, above. I trust you will read this, in that light).

“Ben Young” Iplanetpro – Another Internet Marketing Leech

I don’t mind exposing people for what they are, and truly invite anyone who wants to “expose” me, to do so as well. We’ve exposed some other internet scams including emails from so called SEO “experts” to unsuspecting businesses, that make wild claims and this evening, we’re going to expose another one.  There truly are some leeches out there that have absolutely no morals, no true concerns, and use methods that are simply quite disgusting.

Recently, we registered a domain name on behalf of a client; it’s basically “brand new” and development is going on as I write this. Most of the work has been done,  When I register domain names on behalf of clients, I always put the registrant information such that it shows legally that the client owns it, but I also include my own email address as a contact so that I can deal with any issues on behalf of the client, quickly.

This means that I often get spam. Tonight was no exception. Earlier this evening, while checking my inbox, I received an email from a “Ben Young” with the subject line of: “We found a problem with xxxxx.org.” (The “xxxxx” represent the actual domain name).

Inside the body of the email, I read:

We found some major issues while running our Speed Test report on xxxxxx.org

Please click here to view the results:

http://quote.gamedayassist.com/xxxxxxx

Thanks,
Ben Young

Site Speed Rankings, LLC
Account Manager
EMT Group, LLC | 3846 Herbert Road, Mogadore OH 44260

To someone who is naive, this may appear “scary.” Indeed, there is a site speed component to Google’s and other search engine’s algorithm; how much of an influence it has is not really known. Regardless of that fact, it is important to ensure a site is optimized as much as possible for speed issues. One of the biggest things we find are images that are far to large in file size.  We’ve managed to help clients that have images that are over 200 kb each, to reduce this substantially, which affects site speed positively. As well, there are occasions when a site might be hosted on a very slow server, but today, that’s not the norm.

Let’s get back to the site in question that I received the email about. It’s simple, it’s not meant to be a site that is marketed all over, and it has nothing fancy on it. Indeed, it contains all of one single image, that weighs in at a whopping 3.4 Kb. (I’m being sarcastic.. 3.4 Kb is very small).

It’s hosted on a very fast server. The CSS is optimized. In summary, there is zero speed issues with the website. If you’re on a dial up ISP, this site is going to be as quick as any other. Yet Ben Young would send out some alarming email about “speed issues” that are “major.”

Ben Young’s full email address, by the way is:

rchsfatk-t2iyjwk@natural.iplanetpro.com

I haven’t bothered to look at his website, or clicked on his link that leads to some supposed “speed test results”; I have no need to do so. All I know is that Ben Young and his ilk are mongering upon fears that many have, and as a result, likely can’t actually do anything to really help you; Ben Young probably did not even look at the website in question before sending what is probably an automated email sent to many registrants of new domain names.

Ben Young is the type of Internet Marketer that attempts to feed off fears of others, and make a quick buck, even if nothing is wrong.

And yes, people like Ben Young need to be called out for what they are. Leeches. It’s quite possible that Ben Young will now change his email address, or even his name (as other illegitimate jerks often do), but please be aware of these types of emails. Quite often, there ARE legitimate issues with websites and speed; you’re better off talking to someone that has been around for awhile and that can sift through the wheat from the chaff.

Be careful out there. Don’t trust the Ben Youngs of this world.

The Scoop On Shaving With Olive Oil

olive oil shave razorI am fascinated at times by what I come across on the Internet. And as I originally posted here sometime ago, this blog will likely be eclectic, covering various interests although I know some are interested in the SEO posts. But it won’t be all about search engine optimization; that is not what the purpose of it was.

One of the things that interests me and I find curious are the different websites that make claims about what you can do with some product or other. For example, I recently came across a site that was promoting some dozens of uses for hydrogen peroxide. Now, some of these things are quite frankly, not trustworthy, while others are something I’d be willing to experiment with. Hydrogen Peroxide for germinating seeds faster? I’ll give that a try. Taking hydrogen peroxide internally to cure some disease? Are you kidding? Don’t do that! That’s a dumb idea. Yes, Virginia, while there may be a Santa Claus, there is also a lot of dumb and untrue things posted on the internet – sadly some people even believe them without doing their own research.

Now the other day, I was reading a list of ways olive oil could be used. I love using olive oil when I’m cooking, and I also use it to make my own salad dressings. I love it so much, I usually have a gallon of the stuff on hand. One of the suggestions in this particular list about olive oil uses was that men could use it to shave with.

Shave with olive oil? Well… why not give it a try… I’m willing to be a test case for my guy friends out there.. not really dating.. so not too worried if my face comes out looking like chopped liver – and if worse comes to worse, I do have some shaving cream I can quickly slather on.

After my shower, making sure my beard was “well wetted,” I dipped my fingers into the small plastic container of olive oil I had brought with me. Now – that was the first problem – it’s not easy to slather olive oil onto one’s beard with your fingers. At least it’s not like slathering on shaving cream that comes out of a can. Maybe if I had one of those brushes that like  my dad had, where he whipped up a bar of shaving soap – maybe that would be easier.

Next problem was getting enough olive oil to cover my beard entirely while trying to not let it drip all over the place. The website that suggested men shave with olive oil never mentioned that, and I never really thought of it before hand. But finally, I was quite satisfied that I had enough olive oil rubbed into my facial hair that badly needed a shave, and with a bit of trepidation, put the blade end of my razor under the hottest water I could and then put razor to face.

Well, I was actually surprised. The blades glided along and the facial hair was coming right off down the side of my face. No mince meat, no cuts, no scratchy feelings. I was at first, a little impressed. I began to wonder what the cost of slathering on olive oil was compared to buying my regular brand of shaving cream gel.

After a couple of rinses of my razor under the water is when I realized that doing this regularly was not practical or feasible, at least with the brand of razor I was using, (speaking of razor brands, that’s another pet peeve of mine – if men can standardize screws, bolts and nuts, how come razor blades haven’t been standardized to fit any brand of handle you have?) a Schick Hydro 5.

The problem is, the oil and the hairs just get clogged in between the blades. It’s pretty tough to rinse them out as they are stuck with the oil – and it no amount of holding them under the water seemed to rid the blades of them – which meant by the time I got down to doing my neck, the blade was getting to be in rough shape.

In the end, I did not get as close a shave as I would have liked on my neck, but it’s not terrible either. Maybe if one were still using the old double edged single razor blades, it would work out ok.

I was also worried about being left with an olive oil scent on my skin. I have a keen sense of smell and can say that I could not detect anything after I was finished shaving, so that was not an issue. My face did feel a little “greasy” but that did not last long either.

Whether or not olive oil is good for the skin, I don’t know – some say it is, but it’s not something I’ve worried about much.

My final verdict? I wouldn’t regularly shave with olive oil, because of the problem mentioned above with the clogging between the blades. But that’s the only reason if in the long run, it was a less expensive way to shave. But using the blades that I do, it would likely cost me much more in having to replace them more often.

One thing though – there have been many times when I’ve forgotten to put shaving cream gel on my shopping list, only to desperately need a shave and there’s not enough of it left in the can. When that is happened, I’ve used soap – and I can tell you that in a pinch, olive oil is much better than soap. Or running out to the corner store and paying double or triple the price.

So there you have it. if your wife, girlfriend, better half, or whatever asks you to try shaving with olive oil, you can now make a more informed decision – I’ve done the hard work for you. Just because I don’t mind trying new things :).

Update:

If you’re sick and tired like I am of buying razor blades that are so expensive, they have to be hidden behind locks at the pharmacy, you might want to consider “Dollar Shave Club.” They came highly recommended to me with razor blades that are of superior quality and won’t have you wincing every time you shave – while your wallet gets lighter. Find out more here.

A Free SEO Audit? Not From Me!

I’ve been seeing quite a few offers in email spam messages, offering me a “free” SEO Audit. I am sure many of my readers have also received similar offers, and perhaps you’re wondering if you should take up the offer. I mean.. it’s “free,” right? So why not?

It appears to me that most of these offers of a free SEO website audit originate in India (that’s not to say that there aren’t any legitimate SEO firms in India) where providing spam type backlink services has seemed to become an almost “cottage industry.” As I’ve reported previously, I have spoken with one of these “SEO experts” who offered a free audit of one of my websites, and the conversation was laughable. Clearly, the person knew very little about search engine optimization, or even how to get a clear picture of a website’s backlink profile.

So what is involved in one of these “free” audits anyhow? Well, from what I’ve seen, they mostly amount to a short report advising you of how many backlinks to your website that Google is reporting. This is pretty easy to do on your own, but in itself is not a real indicator of your backlink profile at all.

Where do these free “audits” get this backlink information? They simply use the ‘link operator’ in Google, for example [link:ianism.com]. Typing that in a Google search box, as of today, returns a grand total of “About 20 results.” And that even includes links from within ianism.com as well. Obviously, this is no where near accurate. Using other tools, I can discover that ianism.com more accurately has over 22,000 backlinks.

However, even this number does not tell the whole story, and further analysis can be done. The point is, these free SEO “audits” are pretty much useless by only providing the number of backlinks that is returned when using the link operator in Google.

Some of these free audits may contain some information that is helpful. They may be able to pick up on some technical aspects such as duplicate Title tags within a website, along with duplicate meta descriptions. This of course is good to know, but again, it does not tell the whole story. There is no analysis being conducted on those tags, and often if there is missing information, the free “audits” won’t report on that.

The SEO audits that we conduct go far more deeply into simply counting backlinks. Yes, duplicate title tags and meta descriptions are also important to note and fix, but there is far more to an SEO audit than that. Depending on the size of the site, there is usually at least 12 solid hours of work and analysis, and quite often much much more, when conducting and completing an audit. As Google has frequently pointed out, there are more than 200 factors that go toward determining where a site will rank, and while we don’t know what all of those factors are, or how precisely they are all weighted, we want to cover as many issues as possible.

Good search engine optimization starts with the website in question. Without a good base or foundation, while you might “fly” in the SERP’s for a time, it’s quite likely you’ll crash and burn if all you’ve done is hire a shoddy “cottage industry” SEO firm to build you some spammy backlink comments from low quality blog sites.

So no, I will not offer you a free SEO Audit. My time, as well as yours – and your website – is more valuable than “free.” And what we provide is far more than simply typing [link:yourwebsite.com] into Google.

If you’re interested in really seeing how your website is performing and what could be improved upon as well as knowing about critical and potential problems, contact me through my business website.

My Son David: I Love You

There are times in one’s life when perhaps one does not know what the “right” thing is to do. Some private matters are best left private, but what happens when private matters spill out by another party, and false accusations are made about you?

That has happened to me on more than one occasion, and most recently, some very serious accusations have been made toward me, and I have been told, also to others who have a strong relationship with my ten year old son.

I have four sons. I love them all with all my heart. I have not been a perfect dad. I know I have made mistakes and I regret them very much. I look back at my life as a “dad,” and can see many times when I wished I handled a situation differently, or had more wisdom at the time. I do know however, that one of my highest values has been to strive to be a good dad and I think along the way, I’ve made some improvements. I am also keenly aware that I still have a long way to go, and I will never stop learning about this job of “fatherhood.”

I have also made mistakes in my personal life. There are some things I feel remorse and shame about. One of those things is an incident that occurred over the long weekend of May in 2010. I made a huge mistake. I got into my vehicle and drove after having a few drinks. I judgment about my ability to drive was impaired because I had a few drinks. I should not have driven. I fell asleep while driving, hit a curb, and got into an accident that totaled my vehicle. I was charged and convicted of Impaired Driving.

I am still paying for that mistake to this day, although all my legal fines and orders the court made against me have been fulfilled, and were fulfilled within the time frames the court ordered. My own sense of shame after the accident and the night the charge was laid was such that I felt compelled to apologize to my sons for my behaviour and for not being a very good role model that night.

I am not making excuses, but I do want to point out that I am not a serial drunk driver. I have over a million kilometers worth of driving experience. Other than a time when I was in my late teens and working a full time job while also trying to attend college full time and needing to rush between the two, I have had a total of two moving violations, both for speeding. I have gone through many random police spot checks during the course of those million + kilometers of driving. The last moving violation for speeding that I had was in the spring of 2002. The one previous to that was in about 1996.

During the time of my impaired driving charge, and up until about the following December, my living circumstances were also a struggle for me, for a few reasons that I will not get into. However, although I was trying, during that time, I had no real permanent living place.

It was a tough time.

It has come to my attention, that a person has made very very false allegations against me that have included that apparently, after I was charged with impaired driving and lost my licence and my vehicle, that I “barely attempted any contact” with my son David, who at the time was 7 years old. Normally I would not care about such a spurious allegation, but it has also come to my attention that this allegation, this slander, has been made to people who have a close relationship with David. And apparently, those people have been lead to believe this outright false statement is the truth.

I would like to set the record straight and ask some questions of you, my dear reader, whoever you might be, after I set the record straight, below. This person has also made unrelated but equally serious allegations against me as well, which I will also point to.

So Let’s Get The Facts Straight, With Some Photo Evidence:

After my impaired driving charge, which was on May 24th, 2010, I ended up staying in Orangeville for at least a week and had daily contact with my son. In addition to that, David traveled out of town with his mom for about ten days if memory serves correct, returning on June 16th. While David was in Edmonton, I continued to stay in Orangeville, looking after David’s (and his mom’s) Maltese dog while they were away. I sent multiple emails to David’s email address and enjoyed phone conversations with him while he was away.

When David returned with his mom, I returned to a trailer that had been purchased and was to be used for a “home base” for myself, prior to my impaired charge. The location of this trailer is about 15 km from Orangeville. There is no public transportation from Orangeville to the area of the location of the trailer.

While David and his mom were out of town, I contacted her asking about the possibility of me taking David with me to the trailer that I was trying to make into my home upon their return for a few days.

July Contact With David

On July 1st,  I made arrangements directly with David’s mom to have David with me, at the trailer for several days. Indeed, it was arranged that David would have a ride with his mom and his mom’s friend to my location.

In July, I introduced David to the outdoor swimming pool, which he loved and made friends with other kids at. Although I myself had arranged for and taken David to swimming lessons over the course of the previous couple of years, there was still some timidness on David’s part. However, David and I had a great time in the pool, and I was able to spend time myself with him (although I am not much of a swimmer myself), and helped him to get over his fear of the “deep end” and encouraged him to apply what he had learned. I bought him some floating devices as well as snorkeling gear toys, just to try to add some fun to his times in the pool. It was not long before David and I were celebrating together! He managed to swim the entire length of the pool, from the deep end to the shallow end, on his back! We celebrated together, and David was so proud of himself. I was very proud of him too.

Here are some photos of that time together, that David and I spent:

July 3, 2010 – David enjoying a swim at the trailer park with dad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

July 4, 2010 – David enjoying a game of catch with us, at the trailer park.

I have many more photos of that weekend with David, including the campfire we had, David eating roasted marshmallows, and having fun listening to Irish folk music while we sat around the campfire.

In addition to this photographic evidence, there were also other dates in July of 2010 in which I spent time with David, and when I was not spending time with him, sent him emails and had phone conversations with him.

So, between May and July, is this evidence of a father who “barely attempted any contact” with his son? But wait.. there’s more.

In July, I bought David a Buck pocket knife with a folding blade. He and I spent time together while I taught him knife safety. He and I both agreed that for now, perhaps that pocket knife should be left with me. We discussed how a knife is a to be only used as a tool, and that like other tools, there are safety rules we need to know. David and I then spent time as I taught him to whittle sticks into something we could use to roast marshmallows and hotdogs with.

August 2010 Contact With David:

I’m not much of a swimmer myself, but getting into the pool with David continued to be a fun experience. One day, in mid August, while I had David with me, and we were in the pool together, I made a “little dive” into the water in an attempt to have some fun and grab at David’s legs.  Ooops! I underestimated just how shallow the water was.. and boom.. my nose struck the bottom of the pool. Man that hurt! Damaged my nose good.

Here’s a photo of David and me, shortly after that experience, taken in early August:

David and Dad, About August 15th, 2010

 

I did not have David for the entire month of August, but I certainly saw him a lot, quite a number of times after sharing emails with his mother and making arrangements with regard to his and her schedule and my own abilities to have him, and the transportation that was available to me. In August, there were several times I had him on different dates, and for extended periods of time.

In addition to this, David and I spent an evening together, on a blanket, staring up at the sky at night, looking at meteors during the Perseid meteor shower. We saw some real dandies together, and “oooohed” and “ahhhed” several times, after some time of waiting patiently for the Perseid show to get going. We talked about what meteors were, the difference between a meteor and a comet, and simply enjoyed each other, laying on that blanket after a bit of a hike that we took to a very dark spot, along with some bottles of apple juice and other snacks.

In mid August, my girlfriend at the time had her older son Kade arriving from Alberta to visit. When Kade arrived, one of the first things we did was pick David up and take him to the trailer I was living at. We had a campfire all together, that night:

About August 15th, Kaden, David & Colleen, holding up my Ulster Flag at my trailer.

We had such a fun time together, but because of Kade’s schedule while visiting, we took David home the next day. I then spent time with Colleen and Kaden for several more days, but before Kaden returned to Alberta, we had another day or two with David at my trailer. We managed to get in more swimming and other fun stuff that David thoroughly enjoyed.

 

It was a lot of fun for me to see the big smiles on David’s face while enjoying the company of Kade, from around August 21st to August 23rd, 2010. And yes, I have photos of that time too!

David & Kaden in swimming pool. David holding soccer ball we use to kick around and the same ball I’ve taught him some basic soccer skills with. About August 21/22, 2010.

I actually have tons more photos from these days with Kaden, Colleen and David that I have forwarded on to the person that has made the hurtful and outright lying assertion that I “barely attempted to have contact” with David. I will save them from being posted here on this particular blog post for the sake of length, but I would like you, dear reader, to know that there are plenty more.  There are at least 19 more photos that I took personally, and I know there are more that Colleen took. What I am providing is just a quick overview – the fact is that I have far far more evidence to show that the claim that I “barely attempted contact” with my son David is utterly false. And utterly disgusting, to me.

End Of August And Into September Contact With David:

Shortly after the above photo was taken, along with a bunch of others I have, Colleen and I took David home to his mom in Orangeville, and then spent the last few days of Kaden’s trip to Ontario showing what we could, in what time we had, Toronto. Then dropped him off at the airport.

In late August and into early September, I again had David for an extended period of time. Again, we had a ton of fun together that included water gun fights, swimming pool fun, campfires, and some pretty cool nights too, when we needed to bundle up. Manoman, David had fun with that watergun!!

Late August, 2010. David arming himself with the water gun.

 

That water gun stuff was funny. Not only did he enjoy using it, when the days were hot, he loved it being used against him! He’d ask ME to fill it up, and try to squirt him with it, as he ran and tried to hide, then sneak out, daring me to actually “get him” with it.

Of course, part of the fun was that I did manage many times to soak him with it. He’d run, and twist, and turn and giggle, and laugh his head off, and yell, “Ok Dad!! Try to get me now!!” as he tore off in a run, and then peek around the side of the trailer. He also had his own sense of saucy fun too (I think I taught him some of that…):

Here, David and I were co-conspirators, as he stood waiting outside the trailer, waiting for Colleen to come out – and surprise her with a long blast of cold water from the water gun.

I won’t publish the next set of photos, but they are hilarious. Colleen exited the trailer, with a big pot of water, ready to defend herself against the onslaught of David and his water gun aiming skills… only to find herself unable to reach her target in her defense as David mastered his water gun skills.

But it wasn’t just fun we had. We had to eat too. In addition to showing David how to cook meals in a cast iron dutch oven over a campfire, or simply roasting food and yummy snacks like marshmallows on sticks we whittled with knives and remembering our “knife safety,” we also went out and bought local corn and had our own corn roasts too.

There was one occasion in late August or early September, when I had David all on my own for several days, that we enjoyed a corn roast and hamburger barbecue, arranged by the social club of the trailer park. However, this photo is of David eating corn that we purchased from a local farmer on a different occasion in early September when I had him and was spending time with him.

Now that you’ve got this far, dear reader, is this the activity of a father that “barely attempted any contact” with his son? Ah.. but there is the rest of September to discuss too.

September 2010 Contact With My Son

September 2010 was a bit of a tumultuous month for me, and I won’t get into all the details. Suffice to say that in mid to late September, I ran into a situation where I was given a choice about something, and after missing my son David very much, I chose to hitch hike to Orangeville from Guelph to see him.

It was not my initial choice, but when “push came to shove” so to speak, I needed and wanted to see my son again, and memories of the awesome times I’d just had with him, a week or so previous were still strong in my mind.

On a very cold, rainy night, I packed a bag, walked 45 minutes over to Highway 6, and stuck my thumb out at about 8PM. Unfortunately for me, there was not that much traffic that night. I needed to my son though.

Shivering, cold and wet, I arrived in Orangeville about 5AM the following day. I have to admit, I did meet some interesting people while hitch hiking to Orangeville in order to see my son. And I spent several days with him there, while also working and trying to strategize business plans with his mom.

No, I have no photos of that particular occasion, but I do have written records as well as email correspondence to back it up.

If my above account IS correct, is that a dad that anyone could rightfully claim that had “barely any attempt” to contact his son?

Ah October.. Autumn.. Contact With David

I was struggling personally, I admit during September. I managed to get some things straightened out, so I thought. And next thing we know, it is October! What kind of contact did I have with David in October? Quite a bit actually. We all know there is a long weekend in October here in October. Did I “barely have any” contact with David that month in that year, 2010? Well…. you decide if that was the case.

It’s a crappy photo, I know. But that is David, with me, on the long weekend in October of 2010. It was also my birthday that weekend.

We spent that weekend together, saying good bye to the trailer for another season (actually, another season never happened, but that’s another story), and having fun with the fond memories we created together over the past five months. The swimming pool was now closed (it’s in the background) and it wasn’t warm enough to even think about swimming. It was jacket, hoody, and fleece weather. Even during the day.

We also too advantage of the fact that we still had some opportunities, before winter came and the snow would fly, to go bicycling yet again.

That is David on the left, Colleen in the “middle,” with my bike on the right. That long weekend of October was a weekend of trying to fit in all the things I had done with David together, over the past months, into one weekend, and all the things I had hoped to do, but wasn’t able to. It was a bit of a mad scramble, also needing to close up the trailer for the weekend, and talks about maybe, just maybe, we could cross country ski into the trailer during the winter months, and retrace our steps, and see the differences. between the warm months and the cold months. There were a lot of hugs, a lot of laughs and smiles as we reminisced about the previous months we had enjoyed.

Unfortunately for me, I still had not really gotten any further with getting  a place I could call my own. My love for David, and my priority that he was to be included in whatever life I had, and whatever home I had, was and still continues to be, one of the most important things in my life.

So now that you’ve read about May, June, July, August, September and into October (and I have even more that I have not presented here), do I look like a dad that “barely ever attempted contact” with my son?

Ah.. Winter Is Coming And I’m Still Not Settled – Contact With David:

For me personally, I was disappointed in myself. In May, it was my goal to get settled, have  a place I could call my own, and get on with my life, a life that included my son David. David was a huge priority to me. At the same time, one has to live, work, and try to maintain relationships too. I did the best I could. I’m sure that in retrospect, I can be criticized, and I am quite willing to listen to that criticism and consider advice.

I don’t have photographic evidence at my finger tips, but into late October and then November, I have fond memories of having David and emailing his mom to make arrangements to see him.

We did some more bike riding together. I have one memory that is very fond, and for which I was so impressed by, that I emailed David’s mom.. it was about late October, when David helped me put together some Ikea furniture. I’m pretty lousy when it comes to those idiotic diagram (ok, idiotic to me) instructions, and David and I had to put together about four different pieces of furniture, relying on Ikea’s instructions. I could not have done it without David.

Maybe it’s his experience with Lego kit building.. I am not sure, but having David help me figure out Ikea furniture instructions was awesome. We built several pieces of furniture together, with David being the “understander of the instructions.”

I bragged in an email to David’s mom about how amazing David was.

In early December 2010, the period in question  where I apparently had “barely any contact” with David, was about to end. Some other things events were to occur, which were sad for me on the one hand, but would force me in a sense, to return to Orangeville, and leave other options I had hoped for, far behind.

On about December 5th, I advised David’s mom of this fact and her reply to me was that I was most welcome to try to figure out some things, with David in my presence as he apparently wanted even more of me in his life.

Questions

Questions to The Person Who Has Made False Statements:

Why? What’s in it for you? Why did you make the false statements against me? You’ve had intimate knowledge of what is true. Why did you make the false statements against me? Why did you make those false statements to some of David’s relatives and people he has a very strong relationship with, being in a position that you are to sway their opinion of me?

Do you have low self-esteem issues?

Why, if you truly thought your statements were correct, why did you not bring them up with me personally? I have records of conversations with you, and at no time did you EVER suggest to me that you had a concern about my time, or my desire to spend time with my son, was a concern to you? Instead, you smeared me with others who David has a relationship with, and lead them to believe things that are not true.

Why? I do not understand.

I have tried to understand; this is not the first time you have done and said such things about me. Indeed, recently, you accused me of some other despicable things, that my eldest son was privy to. You accused me in the past of making holocaust denial statements, and then when I challenged you on your statements, you continued with your lies, and lied about what had actually occurred 7 years ago.

I pointed out to you the facts of the matter here, wherein my business partner wrote an open letter about the allegations: http://web.archive.org/web/20060306044956/http://www.ianism.com/

When you were challenged on the discrepancy between what you wrote and alleged, you came up with a lame excuse; something about your memory not being very good.. but you never responded to the fact that you seemed so able to make the false allegations in the first place. Your apology was to me was trite. I don’t accept it.

What is your purpose in making these false allegations against me and to people who have a strong relationship with my son David, and who I hope he always will have such a good relationship with? What is your purpose in lying about me? I love my son very much, and I do believe the evidence is there, over the years, that I do. I have not been perfect, but he’s always been a huge priority to me, more than many will ever know. What is your purpose in making statements that are slanderous and libelous against me?

I’m not a psychology major, but based on what I know about you, I think you have very low self-esteem, so you need to find a way to put others down, to make yourself look good. I’ve discussed this with you, and you’ve admitted to me privately that you might need help with some communication and lying issues.

I won’t say who you are.. but even with the preponderance of evidence that I can provide in response to your allegations, you have shown zero remorse for what you have done. You have shown absolutely no sense that you understand the hurt and distress you have caused, with this one example of false statements and lies, and there are actually many more. I have plenty of evidence to show, over the years, that I’ve tried my best to attempt to come to resolutions about some things, but you will not maintain them.

Why?

Why are you so willing to tell lies about me? I love all of my sons, and that includes my youngest son David. I would die for him. So what is in it for you to libel and slander me? And persuade others, who my son has a relationship with, and who my son respects and loves, to believe such utter falsehoods about me?

What is your point in doing that? For what reason?

Personally, I think you need help. I wonder if you, as good a person as you are other in other respects, should even have contact with my son, when from a deeply moral position, you are willing to tell lies, smear me, put me down, But if you can so easily tell lies, without having any thought for the future potential of devastating consequences, I don’t understand whatsoever. I have fought for my son, and for the very existence and ability of his two parents, to parent him. Why would you tell such lies about me?

Questions to The Person(s) Who Has Heard False Statements:

If you are reading this, and have some knowledge of what I am talking about, quite likely you might have been the recipient of a few emails – one in which I requested you be a mediator. I’m not stupid nor am I unable to understand that you might have some biases yourself. I get that. It has been my goal to get issues straightened out. In private, if possible. When it comes down to what I love, and value… I will tell you, I will fight. Maybe I fight the wrong way at times. I don’t know. I love passionately, and sometimes end up being hurt passionately. What has been said to you, and what you have been lead to believe, I feel very very hurt about. i would not care if your name was “Joe Blow” from Newfoundland, but you are not “Joe Blow.” You are a person my son admires and likes.

I know my son admires and likes you. He loves you. I respect that. I don’t want to change that. I’ve asked you for help in the past, and then I I know I further asked you, when in a condition of my own hurt and feelings of betrayal, wrote some things in utter frustration and under the influence of alcohol, that did not come out right. I know that. I am sorry for that. My attempts were however, very sincere. I love my sons, and I love David; I know for a fact that my three older sons will vouch for my adoration of David. I’m pretty sure that although I’ve made mistakes, my three older sons will vouch for me and my love for them, and I’m very sensitive to mistakes I’ve made, and I strive to do better.

That is also my personal commitment to my relationship with David, and there is NO TIME in his life, when I “barely attempted to contact him. Why a person would say that about me, I do not know. In some ways, I saw David as a way to correct some things about me, that I might have not done so well with my other three older sons. For anyone to accuse me or lead others to believe something opposite is simply disgusting, hideous and disgraceful on their part. And when shown the evidence, and unable to provide a sincere apology that indicated true remorse on their part, I don’t know what to say to that.

It is hurtful to me, it is horrible to me, it is a hurt and a despair that I cannot explain, to think and realize that a person close to David, and to you, would make such outrageous statements, and lead you to believe something for their own personal interests, their own psychological problems, and not admit to the truth.

I don’t get it. But then, I’m a guy that spent the greater part of four years in a hospital when I was a kid, and there was lots about life, and the reality of life, that I never “quite got.” When you are a kid, and the kid next to you gets wheeled out of the room, and never returns, you learn some things at a pretty early age. Games and bullshit don’t matter anymore. Social games become totally unimportant.

Questions For The Reader Who Just Happenchanced To This Post

Do you have values? Are there things that you agree are just not what one does? Perhaps making some personal stuff is one of those values. I understand. But what happens when it just never stops? And you know.. and you learn.. some hideous lies have been told against you, for the sake of some other person’s self esteem issues, or psychological issues? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that. I know we have a court system, and going to court over all of this is not out of the question to me, but I also know that doing so creates it’s own problems too. Without going to court, the other person is more than welcome to state their own case here, or wherever they feel there is a form for them, and allow me to respond. I don’t mind nor am I against that.

But as an objective person, based on the above, the evidence I have provided, do I look like a dad that “barely had any contact” with his son from May 2010 to December 2010? Do I look like a dad that had no interest in his son? I know there are some “deadbeat dads” out there, but I’m pretty sure I’m not one of them. But when you hear or read, “so and so made barely any attempts to contact their son,” what is your first impression?

Ah.. another deadbeat dad. I get that. But I’m not a deadbeat dad. I sure am not perfect, and I still have lots to learn, but I’m not a dead beat dad that barely had any contact with my son.

This insinuation, along with other utterly false allegations hurts me. I hurt more than you might know. The person that has made these accusations has refused, even after being provided with the evidence that their insinuations are not true, to show any true remorse. Their response is an intellectual response, a response of trying to find some little way an “i” might not be dotted correctly or a ‘t’ not crossed right. There is no remorse.

There is no remorse for the damage that they have done. I’ve actually put myself out there, to others, and my sons, and asked, “how can I be a better dad. Please tell me,” and have been sincere, and I am positive, that although my older three sons can have lots of stories to tell how I wasn’t a good dad, they can also say that I improved, learned, and tried.

To My Son David:

I do not know the motivations of others in attempting to put me into a light of someone that barely made any attempt to contact you. It makes no sense to me. I do not love you more than my other three sons; I love you all equally. I watched my eldest son with pride, drumming, and showing his skills … and pride wells up in my, and tears in my eyes come to the surface, that I cannot stop.
I think about my second eldest son, James, and the stuff he has been through in his life, the things he has conquered, memories of taking him to a speech therapist when he was younger and yet today, to listen to him, he is a man who could teach elocution lessons. He thinks, and has his own major skills.

I think about my third eldest son Colin.. he looks so much like me, and yet in many ways we are different, but we love each other. He’s an emotional passionate guy like me, he’ll fight, but he loves… he’s willing to use his fists, but he sheds tears too. When he was younger, we found rocks together, that just seemed to be meant together, a “sign” of us being “special together.” I love him. He loves me.

And you know what David? I was stupid. After you were born, I worried about those three boys of mine, having issues learning I had a fourth son.. boy was I dumb!!! When they realized I was telling the truth, and not joking around, they got serious, “Ok dad.. take us to him now,” they demanded. And they loved you. And they ganged up on me, when you were about three years old and I called you their “half brother.” They told me in no uncertain terms, that I was never to refer to you ever again in my life as their “half brother.” You are “their brother.”

All three of them talked about amongst themselves, and approached me, and told me that in no uncertain terms was I ever to call you their “half brother” ever again.

I had tears in my eyes and a smile on my face, as I listened to them. I guess I did something right, among the many things I had done wrong.

Your dad loves you, David. For any person to ever make a claim that I “barely attempted contact” with you is absolutely wrong, a total lie, and something I cannot explain. I am sure your mother, in reviewing emails, correspondence, and other activities will vouch for this. I am sorry that there are people that you have a relationship with, would even have that sense or idea  of me. It is disgusting, and yet I must respond due to the relationship to you of the person that has made such idiotic, untruthful statements, for their own purposes. And this person is in a position to have a lot of influence over you, and to influence even just subconciously, even if its for a short time, and influence relationships I have with others that also love you.

I am sad that this person appears to have no remorse, no regret, and no concept of the hurt that has been caused by their statements. I wish I could protect you from this person; a person that would make such statements and slander me and our relationship.

I hope that maybe, someone will see the light.. and perhaps encourage this person to get some psychological help. I hope that this person will do no further damage to relationships that I might have, that you have. I will fight for that.

I love you, David Hugh Scott. And there have been times in my life, when things have been screwed up.. but I have NEVER forgotten about you, and I hitch hiked to see you, to be with you, and made arrangements for you to know how important you are to me. I continue to fight for that, to this day, David. You are awesome. I am sure your older brothers, who have also been through some crappy times, at times, know, and will speak for me, as a dad that loves you very much, and they know how much of a priority you are to me. They know, and I sometimes get afraid they will be jealous of how often I speak of you to them…. and yet, you know how often I speak of them, to you.

I don’t care who the person is; I will not put up with ANY person, telling lies, and uttering falsehoods about you, and how important you are to me. Indeed, I have years worth of evidence (not that you will need it yourself, but for anyone interested, it is there) of my love and devotion to you, along with also trying to deal with business and other personal matters.

To the person that has made these utterly false and hurtful statements and refused to ackowledge the hurt that it has caused… screw you. I’m done with you. I’ve defended you, I have many records of that, I have kept many things private, you have failed to show any remorse, you will hang on to my mistakes that I have made, and use them for your own personal advantage, while failing to acknoledge your own over the years, you are guilty of slander and libel toward me when it suits you.and I’m sure, you are simply trying to find and look for ways to intellectually defend yourself.

 

Which is fine. Go for it. I have my tears as a record, when you wanted to use them, your lies, your utter crap, and my loyalty to you … even when you lied. Today, I AM a bitter man, and you are more than welcome to hold that bitterness against me. Don’t you dare ever fucking hold that bitterness against me, in regard to my son, the son I worked so hard to make sure I had, the son that his mother wanted to adopt out and not tell anyone about, the son that I was told was miscarried in a toilet and my feelings were used, and I stuck by the mom.  Many times.

The lies that some have been told and lead to believe about me are utter and absolute crap, and I will hold you responsible for them. You have never ever given me an apology that is real, and with a sense of remorse.

You are no friend to me and my son David.You have no idea the hurt and absolute anguish you have caused. You have shown no remorse for your lies. I have a bazillion records of emails and attempts to get things straightened out with you, in good faith. You have so often and far too often, replied, or not replied, in totally bad faith.

You have shown no remorse for what you have done. Zero. I don’t know what your agenda is. Your false agenda ends now, however. If I have to go further, I will. I will, for the sake of my son. I will not put up with what you have said, written, or implied and you think there are no consequences. You have stolen from me, awesome moments and memories of me and my son, for your own purposes, and with your own smears.

i am not putting up with it anymore.

It is not a competition, it is not a struggle for who is right, it is not any of that.. I’ve already done what is right, even when life’s circumstances have gotten in the way.. David and my other sons that have older, have meant the world to me. You, however, keep getting in  the way, and use my efforts, and turn them around, and lie about them. And make me look bad, when you should not.

Your criticisms of me are welcome. Please feel free to comment.

Do I look like a dad that “barely ever attempted contact” with ANY of his sons, let alone the fourth one, who today is ten years old, and who just the other day, I showed him how we make home made “chips” – what some call “french fries,” as we did thing together.. cutting up potatoes, frying them in lard, eating pizza and our “chips” together, while watching a movie?

And my little boy and I, got out the bench press, and the dumbells, and worked out together..and laughed, while I encouraged him, and he could flex his muslcles and say to his mom, “Hey mom, feel the rocks I somehow grew in my muscles?” while he laughed.

 

What sort of person would tell others and try to make others believe, that I “had barely no attempted contact” with my son? I don’t know

 Update November 24th, 2014 – Wendy Woudstra has been provided with plenty of opportunity to make things right as far as her lies, but has failed to do so. It is therefore now time to “out” her as the person that made the false accusations about me. It is very sad a mother would stoop to these kinds of lies about a very active father in his son’s life.

Wendy, I am so very tired of your lies.