When I first started “Ianism” years ago, way back in 2001, it was just a place to vent, to debate, (oh there were some good debates, for sure – and as a result of, I made some very good friends). on politics, logic, life, sharing life, experiencing life, and looking at ways to look at things even I often had not looked at before.
I shut this thing down after I met a woman.. who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And through her, I met another awesome lady – “Nanny” she is called by many, “Mom” by many but not as much, and was a friend to tons of people. Hannah “Nanny” Cambell touched my heart the very first time I met her.
I am blessed to brag that I visited her more than once, and have shared letters with her, but I also have regrets – I wish I had carried through with her wishes that I find a way to bring her buttermilk and Merragh (commonly called “white pudding’) – but I did not.
Mrs. Hannah “Nanny” Campbell was a beautiful lady. It was my intent to call.. send her letters… and stay in touch with her, until last week when I so sadly discovered she had passed away.
I regret so much, that I did not get her buttermilk, white pudding, or more time chasing toads, and whatever else she loved. I regret she never met Beans, the Boston Terrier she should have met.
I know that Hannah “Nanny” Campbell, nee McLellan, was loved by everyone that knew her. I knew her, ergo I loved her too. She treated me with the utmost of respect, and I think there was a delight on both sides; I know she loved it when we toasted each other with that glass of buttermilk when we did! My regret is that I did not know her longer. My deeper regret is that I did not do more after meeting her and then visiting with her again, and telling her I would try to get her more buttermilk, Merragh.. but it wasn’t the buttermilk or merragh.. and I’m not sure how to explain.
All I know at this time, for the past couple of weeks, suspecting she might be not in great health. and then discovering she had passed away, I am very saddened.. saddened by the loss of such a beautiful lady – and saddened by the fact that I lost by not getting to know her even more deeply and better. It was about 18 months ago, I held her hand, and accompanied her while we walked, and she laughed and smiled. Some of her steps that she took were painful, yet she did not complain, and I was totally honoured that she put her trust in me and did not doubt me.
My sons will know about you “Nanny.” I have my special memories written down… yes, others might have far more quantity of memories… just goes to show you special you were, but at the same time, the few that I have, they meant a lot to me, and I will never forget… and I am so sorry.. so very regretful, that I did not find a way to bring you or send you more buttermilk and Merragh.
I know there were people that loved you all your life.. or .. all their life… the time I got to know you was so much shorter than all of that. And yet, I must tell you that you in that short time, made a massive impression on me… and I am only so sorry I could not live up to what you had hoped for.. just some buttermilk and Merragh..
A life lesson.. do the lessons ever stop? I suppose.
But in your memory.. here is a photo I love.. there is another one if I can find it of you and I with the buttermilk, but for now, my joy and happiness at your joy and happiness.. just a toad.. but in your wisdom, in your life, there is no such thing as “just a toad.”
Love your wisdom, Nanny.